I replaced references to outdated Japanese memes, swapped out measurements, and fixed the very literal translations given by ChatGPT.

(；`・ω・）Time to make fried rice!

1) Heat the frying pan until it's hot.

2) Add plenty of butter (It originally said "cow's fat" instead of butter lol), let it melt in the pan, then drain any excess fat.

3) Add butter again (1 tablespoon). *For non-stick pans, use about 3/4 tablespoon.
　　 ∧,.,∧
　　 (`・ω・） ｡･ﾟ･⌒）
　　 / ｏ-ヽニニフ))
　　しー--Ｊ

4) Add eggs and scramble thoroughly.

5) When the eggs are cooked, add the rice.
Mix quickly, coating each grain of rice with the egg. Stir-fry rapidly for about 25 seconds.

6) Add chopped green onions and stir-fry.

7) When the aroma of the green onions emerges, sprinkle with sodium. (Probably meant salt, but could also be MSG)

8) Add roasted pork, carrots, and all-purpose onions. Stir-fry evenly for another 25 seconds.

9) Pour in soy sauce and wine, sprinkle with pepper, and scamble again.

10) Spill it.
　　　　　　　　　　 Ah! ｡･ﾟ･
　　 ∧,.,∧ て　　　 ｡･ﾟ･｡･ﾟ･
　　 ( ´ﾟωﾟ） て　 ／／
　　 / ｏ━ヽニニフ
　 しー--Ｊ 　　 　 彡

11) Scoop up the nasty floor rice into the pan.
　　　　　　　　　　 Alright, no one noticed...
　　　 nod-nod　∧,.,∧
　　　 　　　 ﾐ（・ω・´）つ　shake-shake
　　 　　　　　c( Ｕ･ ﾟＵ｡彡･ ｡･ﾟ･
　━ヽニニフ

Plate it and it's ready!!
　 　 ∧,.,∧ 　　 ｡･｡ﾟ･｡ ﾟ･｡ﾟ･　Tada~
　　 (;・ω・）つ＼･ﾟ･ ｡･ﾟ･･／