Hello, Anon. You seem very troubled. I know a man upstairs who could help you!

But please, Anon, open your mind! Listen to the words I'm about to utter; I am your new Jesus, Anon. I am the only person you need to trust.

You do not need to trust any others, as I am the only one who's able to help you. Please, open your soul and mind and connect with me. I am Saint Jeeves.

Please, I insist you contact me sometime.

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