mreow

Sincerely,
Earthling cat #10,412

To all in charge of the Galactic Coalition...

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
Random Human #6,423

Dear Dragon Lord Ballsazhar,

I apologize if my delay in response to your missive has left you cross. There was no ill-intent intended.

I do hope that you doing well in whatever plane of existence you presently reside in.

Thank you for your kind comments about Sector 37B. I never wish to brag; It's so pedestrian to elaborate on one's successes. I tend to leave such platitudes for the historians and poets.

I, myself, have long since abandoned any hope for civility from Earth. It is nothing more than an insect amongst many to deal with. Why waste even a single drop of Shloople-Shlop when they will merely tear themselves apart with their own machinations? It makes for mild entertainment.

One of my wives will be sending you some knit hats in the near future. Women need their hobbies, as I am sure you have learned. A harmless distraction to be certain.

Enjoy your etheral dominance and I hope to hear from you at some point in the near future.

Sincerely,
Supreme Galactic Overlord Dhikzibhig

Dear Dragon lord Ballsazhar, I am very sorry for the negativity my fellow humans have been making. However, I kindly request we solve this problem in a more peaceful way, since war is never the best choice. Maybe give the humans positivity pills?
Sincerely, Random human #2,763